After getting the news Friday night that we would not be doing a fresh embryo transfer this month, we were admittedly bummed. We felt like we were just pushing and pushing to get to that ending point, so when the plans changed and we discovered Dr. Sasson didn't want us to do a fresh transfer (he was worried that we would "waste" an opportunity for pregnancy in a non-optimal uterine environment due to high estrogen levels) we felt like there wasn't any closure or ending to our latest IVF cycle-coster!
Friday night, we did not know the three remaining embryo grades or even if they had made it to the full blastocycst stage. We were told that three early blastocysts were remaining and that all three would be frozen. We did not know anything else.
Because I no longer needed to have my cell phone permanently affixed to my body waiting for embryo updates, I left it inside all morning on Saturday. We ran errands and worked in the yard. For a few hours, I forgot about hormones and fertility. I felt sunshine on my face (or at least recognized it) for the first time in a few weeks. Glorious.
We came into the house for lunch and I saw I had a missed call and voicemail from Shady Grove. What. Could. This. Be?
Of course my hormonal mind jumped to all sorts of crazy:
- The lab caught fire.
- The embryos were stolen.
- Maria (the embryologist) was in an accident and couldn't make it to the office to freeze them in time.
- You get the point.
I froze. Picked up the phone and played the message:
Hi, Rachel. It's Maria. I just wanted to let you know that we did successfully freeze three embryos at the full blastocyst stage. Two have AA grades and one has an AB grade, which is fantastic! Just wanted to let you know. Have a great weekend.
WHAT?! WE HAVE THREE AWESOME EMBRYOS?!
I immediately started crying and jumping up and down. Chris was upstairs attempting to put Gabe down for a nap. I skipped up the steps and ran into Gabe's room. We have three--two AA and one AB!
A high-five, jumping, hugging party ensued for a few minutes, Gabe included. (That kid will do anything to avoid a nap!)
What awesome news. What a relief! The night before, we were feeling down about how the events of this past week had played out. We were feeling uncertain and just on edge.
Now, we are feeling optimistic. Honestly. This is the first time this cycle that I say I feel confident in the outcome.
In a world of statistics and odds, we just keep coming back to God's Will for us. We know He is sovereign and His plan is the one that He has hand picked for us because he loves us. It's hard not knowing what it is, but today, we can see how His plan has gotten us to where we are now. Who knows what these next months will hold, but I know who'll be walking right next to us.
Showing posts with label embryo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embryo. Show all posts
Monday, October 12, 2015
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Day 3 Post-Retrieval
And then there were three...
We have two eight-cell and one ten-cell.
I will get a call tomorrow (Friday) afternoon with a final update. If we still have three, we will transfer one in on Saturday morning. If we have two or one, we will freeze both to be transferred in next month. Debbie said that their latest stats show a 67% success rate for a frozen embryo transfer, which is higher than the fresh transfer rate, hence why we would want to go the frozen path. It would give my body a month to chill out prior to transfer (my hormone levels would get back to normal too).
If I'm being honest, I still want there to be three tomorrow so we can transfer Sat and freeze the remaining two. I don't know if that's how it will go though. In the end, we want a baby however that happens.
For now, I'll keep praying and eating Oreos.
We have two eight-cell and one ten-cell.
I will get a call tomorrow (Friday) afternoon with a final update. If we still have three, we will transfer one in on Saturday morning. If we have two or one, we will freeze both to be transferred in next month. Debbie said that their latest stats show a 67% success rate for a frozen embryo transfer, which is higher than the fresh transfer rate, hence why we would want to go the frozen path. It would give my body a month to chill out prior to transfer (my hormone levels would get back to normal too).
If I'm being honest, I still want there to be three tomorrow so we can transfer Sat and freeze the remaining two. I don't know if that's how it will go though. In the end, we want a baby however that happens.
For now, I'll keep praying and eating Oreos.
Monday, April 20, 2015
ROUND TWO: Transfer Day
We just arrived home from a whirlwind trip to Shady Grove. I have so many thoughts and emotions and I want to sort them out, but I don't know that I can at this exact moment. I will though, give the basic overview of our day.
We drove to Philly, holding hands, just trying to get past the fear that we may show up at the Shady Grove office with nothing to transfer. I did some work on my computer while Chris listened to (horrid) 80s music on the radio, his way to calm his nerves:)
We arrived in the parking lot and prayed together, asking that God would be with us regardless of what the day would bring.
We got geared up (me in a gown and Chris in a white jumpsuit) and went back to hear from Dr. Sasson. He said we had one really good embryo, and one that was lagging a bit behind. I literally exhaled for what felt like minutes. I honestly think I've been walking around for the past five days, just holding my breath that we would have an embryo make it to day 5. Now, I was hearing there were at least two in the running.
We debated if we wanted to transfer both, or just the good one, hoping that maybe the other could be preserved later. We surprisingly quickly and peacefully came to the same decision as last time; go for two.
Even as I'm typing, I am having this weird revelation and awareness of this day. I have just been making myself so distracted, pushing myself purposely so far away from the feeling of disappointment and fear. I've just been trying to disconnect. Today was the first time that I felt like, okay, this is happening. It could be okay to connect and allow myself to feel and experience of embryo transfer day. I am nowhere near letting myself feel like I'm pregnant or like I'm going to have a baby. But I am allowing myself to savor God's goodness in all that played out this day.
We now wait two weeks for the pregnancy test. That seems like decades away, but I know I will sleep much better tonight than I did last night knowing that we survived day 5.
We drove to Philly, holding hands, just trying to get past the fear that we may show up at the Shady Grove office with nothing to transfer. I did some work on my computer while Chris listened to (horrid) 80s music on the radio, his way to calm his nerves:)
We arrived in the parking lot and prayed together, asking that God would be with us regardless of what the day would bring.
We got geared up (me in a gown and Chris in a white jumpsuit) and went back to hear from Dr. Sasson. He said we had one really good embryo, and one that was lagging a bit behind. I literally exhaled for what felt like minutes. I honestly think I've been walking around for the past five days, just holding my breath that we would have an embryo make it to day 5. Now, I was hearing there were at least two in the running.
We debated if we wanted to transfer both, or just the good one, hoping that maybe the other could be preserved later. We surprisingly quickly and peacefully came to the same decision as last time; go for two.
Even as I'm typing, I am having this weird revelation and awareness of this day. I have just been making myself so distracted, pushing myself purposely so far away from the feeling of disappointment and fear. I've just been trying to disconnect. Today was the first time that I felt like, okay, this is happening. It could be okay to connect and allow myself to feel and experience of embryo transfer day. I am nowhere near letting myself feel like I'm pregnant or like I'm going to have a baby. But I am allowing myself to savor God's goodness in all that played out this day.
We now wait two weeks for the pregnancy test. That seems like decades away, but I know I will sleep much better tonight than I did last night knowing that we survived day 5.
Friday, April 17, 2015
ROUND TWO: Day 2, after retrieval
Do you know what's weird and insanely hard to put into words? The feeling I have when I hear the phone ring and it's Shady Grove on the caller ID, calling us to update us on how many potential Knipe human lives are still living in their lab. As stated yesterday, we have three mature, fertilized eggs. Today, we have two four-cell embryos, and one two-cell embryo; still at 3 total.
I remember being nervous last time, wondering if IVF would work, but I don't remember being this nervous about this specific phase of the cycle. We had such good number last time so we knew we had good odds to get to transfer day with at least something to transfer. Now, Chris and I are on pins and needles just wondering if there is going to be anything to transfer on Monday.
We are still at three. Maria called from the lab and said she would hope to see 6-8 cell embryos tomorrow. She will call to update us tomorrow afternoon.
I remember being nervous last time, wondering if IVF would work, but I don't remember being this nervous about this specific phase of the cycle. We had such good number last time so we knew we had good odds to get to transfer day with at least something to transfer. Now, Chris and I are on pins and needles just wondering if there is going to be anything to transfer on Monday.
We are still at three. Maria called from the lab and said she would hope to see 6-8 cell embryos tomorrow. She will call to update us tomorrow afternoon.
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