Turning the nap corner?

For about the past three months, Gabe has been consistently sleeping through the night. Bedtime is between 7 or 7:30 PM and the morning wake up is generally around 6:30 AM.

Naps though, were another story. Gabe has not been the best napper. However, beginning about a month ago, he started to really take good naps. He takes at least two naps a day, one in the morning, and one in the afternoon. Sometimes he needs a late afternoon quick cat nap, but not every day.

So how did he turn the nap corner? How did this glorious schedule unfold?

I don't think there is any one thing that helped him settle into his current routine. I noticed that he could stay up for about two and a half hours at a clip, needing a nap after each period of wakefulness. Here are a few things that have helped get him to sleep (and stay asleep)!

1) KEEP ACTIVE: When he is awake, we play! I try to encourage him to be as active as possible-- He can't walk or even crawl, but I try to give him different toys and move him from room to room where he can access some new activities. We practice rolling, jumping, sitting up etc.

2) CREATE A ROUTINE: I do the same basic routine each time Gabe goes down for a nap. We read a few books (Gabe chews on them or likes turning the pages) and then I sing a song and put him in his crib.

3) PUT DOWN "DROWSEY BUT AWAKE": I finally understand the advice, "Put baby down drowsy but awake." Before, I would rock or sway Gabe to sleep and then try to put him gingerly in his crib. Sometimes it worked. Other times, I was held captive by him. If he woke up because he was startled by being put down, or hearing a creaking floor board, we had to start all over again. It was AWFUL.

Now, I look for signs that Gabe is getting tired. I watch the clock. I watch him. I take him up to his room--- we close the blinds and do the books/song routine. Then, even if he's not asleep, I put him in his crib.

He had to learn to put himself to sleep. This was not a quick venture, but now, IT IS HEAVEN. It took a few weeks of this routine, and a few weeks of Gabe crying himself to sleep to get him to understand that once in the crib, it's sleep time.

4) LOVE THE LOVEYS: We got him "Gus", a sweet but flat "lovey" to keep in his crib. I liked it because it was comforting for him, but if he rolled on it, it would not wake him up (because it was flat as opposed to a huge stuffed animal).

I seriously read everything about trying to get your baby to take naps longer than 15 minutes. As you may remember, Gabe was either the anti-napper or the cat napper extraordinaire. Now, keeping him SUPER active while awake, watching for his cues, and giving him the skills to put himself to sleep without my help, he is able to sleep more regularly and for longer periods of time.

I am not an expert. I just had to experiment to find what worked for him....Now watch though---- Now that I actually wrote about this, he will totally change his sleep habits just to spite me. That kid! He's lucky he's cute!

Time Marches On.. Soak It Up!

I can't believe that I have an 8 month old baby living in this house. Everyone tells you that, "It goes by so fast!" and it does. Seeing Gabe start to do new things and discover the world around him brings me such joy....His first 8 months have certainly gone by quickly, yet at the same time, Chris and I feel like he's always been with us.

He's just getting so big! He is much harder to cuddle; he wants to move, to play, to explore. Breastfeeding is becoming quite the adventure. Gabe treats me like a jungle gym!

Monkey-Gabe aside, there are sweet glimmers of sweet baby left though. And I have been selfishly purposeful in spending time with Gabe and savoring his baby-ness. And I'm not done! I don't know when babies are officially considered toddlers, but I am not ready to change his title quite yet.

Friends of ours have a two-year old little boy and are expecting their second child any day now. Like literally any second. They came over for dinner last night and we chatted about what life might be like with another kiddo in the mix.

After dinner, I watched as Megan, pregnant 2nd time-momma-to-be,  sat and watched her son play and romp around the house. Her love for him is so evident. But, I can tell she's anxiously awaiting this next new addition too.

I remember the weeks leading up to delivery (See "Nothing Yet" post). Megan too has been hearing the common comments from the non-pregnant people peanut gallery:  

"When is that baby coming out?"
"Wow! You're STILL pregnant?!"
"Poor thing. I bet you can't wait to have that baby!"

Of course those people don't mean anything by their comments. They're excited too!

But you know what? Last night Megan said something that I really want to remember, should we be able to have baby number two:

"Today was such a great day. We went for a walk and spent time together, just the three of us. It was like God knew we just needed a little more time together, just us, before the new baby comes."

Instead of counting down the days, just wanting that baby out, Megan is savoring this time with her son Jackson--- singular, sweet, only-child for a wee bit longer.

Our lives change and progress so fast. Sometimes we don't even see it happening. Other times, all we need is someone's growing belly or growing toddler to remind us that time moves on and babies get bigger. Families get bigger. Love multiplies. And God... well, we learn He's even greater than we thought.

Hybrid Mom

In a world where everything and everyone must have a label, I don't really feel like I have a term that properly describes my days. When people ask what I "do" for a living, I usually spurt out something like: I am raising my son while working from home.

It's not a common concept, doing both. Most mommas are in a definitive camp--- stay-at-home, or working-outside-the-home. 

Yesterday I came across the term "hybrid mom"--- a combination of a stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, and work-outside the home mom. Sometimes I wish I had a definitive label--- either stay-at-home-mom or working-mom. That way, I might feel like my life were more balanced; people on the outside could understand my days a bit better if I were doing one or the other. But then I think, no way! I could not imagine doing just one or the other... at least right now anyway. Who knows how I'll feel if we are able to add more kids to this mix.

I found the hybrid-mom term in another blog I was reading. The author (Jamie Weitl) was able to communicate how I feel about being a hybrid-mom well. I highlighted the most true aspects for me below: 

There are definite positives to my hybrid mom life.  The flexibility is what makes it worth it.  If I don’t get my work done during the day, I can do it in the middle of the night.  If I want to attend my son’s preschool field trip or help with his school’s Thanksgiving dinner, that is always an option – I just pay for it later.  I also don’t have to pay full-time child care for my three children.  Currently, my son goes to preschool 5 mornings a week from 8:30 to 11:30 and my girls spend four of those mornings at a neighbors house which provides my work time.  Any work I don’t manage to accomplish while the kids are out of the house I attempt during nap or when they are sleeping.  This is difficult in many ways, but in my mind it’s still a positive because of the time I’m able to spend with my little ones.

One of the most difficult aspects for me is I never really fit in.  All of my mom friends seem to fit into one distinct category – either they stay home or they work outside the home.  I struggle to relate and empathize because for me the grass is always greener on the other side.  I’d love to be a traditional stay-at-home mom.  I dream about the cleaning and crafting I could accomplish if I didn’t need to work every second my children close their eyes.  I also feel like my stress level would be much lower – I actually do all of the things a stay-at-home mom does (including the crafting and the cooking) but I still work on top of those tasks.  My other friends, the working moms, give me those looks when I drop my son off for preschool in my sweatpants and ancient Crocs – those looks that say, “Wow, must be nice not to have to get dressed.”  But what they don’t realize is that I’m working just as many hours (if not more) than they are – only my job doesn’t fit neatly in a 40 hour work week.  I do paid work every day of the week – and there is no such thing as leaving work at work.  It all blends together into one big, never-ending to-do list.

This post is disjointed; I am not even fully done fleshing out this new term, hybrid mom. What do you think?

Perhaps I actually like it? I feel like I am never in one "camp" or the other (working mom or stay-at-home-mom) since I do both. Maybe I like finally having a label.

Car Shopping with Baby Gabe

Sometimes, having a baby in tow helps. Yes, carrying a baby in the grocery store or to church can often be a bit hairy. But... let me tell you... bringing your baby car shopping is the way to go!

Chris's Jeep finally took a dive, after fourteen solid years. We new we couldn't afford to go buy a brand new car, but we wanted a quality used SUV of sorts.

As Chris takes 99.3 million years to make a decision (even if only deciding on a blender), I knew we were in for some trouble. The fact that the Jeep's driver side car door was refusing to shut increased the need for a new vehicle, and fast.

So... what did we do? We brought Gabe with us car shopping.

I know how car dealers work. The whole back-and-forth about the price and the "let me check with my manager" crap. Come on! Give me the real price already!

When you have a baby in tow, things have no choice but to progress at a speed faster than light. Just the view of a squirming, screaming child scares male car dealers.

So here's how we played it:

Me: "Hi! We have a really small window here to look at cars today. We definitely need a car, and if we can get the right price, we are ready to purchase today."

Dealer: "Wow. Okay. Today?"

Me: "Yes, preferably before Gabe wakes up from his nap." (Dealer looks at innocent, chubby baby sleeping in car seat). 

We tell the dealer our specifics (having already researched online, knowing the dealership's inventory and list prices).

Dealer: "Well.. hmm... let me take a look and see what we can do."

Me: "Okay. But make it speedy! (I dramatically glance at Gabe, making it appear that I am looking at a literal ticking time bomb).

So the dealer comes back with some options, all of which are over our price range. We choose the car that we had researched online (checked the CarFax, compared the price to Kelly Blue Book etc.)

Chris: "Can I test drive that one?"

The dealer grabs the keys and pulls the car up. We brought an extra car seat base so all we had to do was transfer the car seat (with Gabe still sleeping in it) into the "new" car.

We set off for the test drive, asked questions while driving etc. I sat in the back next to Gabe, looking over everything in the back. Chris drove and checked out the front.

Ten minutes later, we were back at the dealership.

Chris: "So, what is your final asking price."

Dealer: "Well, ah, you can see it there on the sticker."

Gabe, as if on cue, miraculously starts waking up.

Chris: "Oh, well, if that is your final price, we thank you for the test drive, but we can't do that price."

Dealer: "Well, what price were you thinking?"

Chris lays out the specifics for him. Meanwhile, Gabe starts softly whimpering from the car seat. The dealer glances at Gabe, fear slowly starting to grab hold of him that this baby just might poop, cry, or spit in his direction.

Dealer: "Let me go talk to my boss."

Me: "Okay, but seriously, we have about a ten minute window here before we have to go. Gabe gets really mean, really fast! 

The dealer comes back with a price, miraculously two thousand below his earlier "final" price. Chris says not low enough. I grab the diaper bag and start to head for the door to leave.

Dealer: "So you don't think there is any way to make this work?" (He stares at the now fully crying Gabe)

Chris: "Well, not tonight. Thanks for the drive. Please give me a call if you can get closer to our price."

We leave. Drive home. I feed Gabe. About 45 minutes later, we get a call with a now even lower price. It's in our ballpark. We accept. Done deal.

Ahh.... that was the fastest, most efficient car shopping experience ever. Thanks, Gabe!





Side note: Knowing Chris's car was on its last legs, we had been researching cars for about six months. We knew what we wanted (type, mileage, price etc) and pounced when the time was right. Plus, Gabe clearly accelerated the process! 

Breastfeeding and/or Formula Feeding

Please note that I didn't title this post, "Breastfeeding VS Formula Feeding."

Just as there are specifically defined "camps" on the stay-at-home-mom VS working mom issue, there are stern camps regarding how babies "should" be fed.

At six months post birth, I feel like I can actually write about this topic with some clarity. 

The women in my family (mother, sister-in-laws, aunts, cousins etc) have all been avid breastfeeding mothers. When I was pregnant with Gabe, I assumed I would have no issues breastfeeding and as such, would join the ranks of happy breastfeeding mothers, both past and present.

I've posted before about Gabe and his LOVE of eating. Even now, as he has started baby food, he cries when the food is gone. The kid likes to eat. He has the cheeks to prove it.

When I began breastfeeding, I did so every two hours, round the clock. Literally, Gabe could have camped out on my chest and been happy. For the first month or two, that was fine. I wasn't really needing to do anything else besides care for him, (and occasionally shower), so boob-camping was totally fine. But then, I got really, really tired of doing it myself. 

No one else can "help" you breastfeed. It is nothing that Chris can step up and do at 3 AM. Yes, there were moments were I felt so at peace, with my baby, peacefully eating in my arms. But then, there were other moments, where he frantically sucked away, acting like he hadn't been fed in four days. 

There is nothing worse, as a new mom, than feeling like you can't FEED YOUR BABY and SATISFY him. 

We used a pacifier between feedings to "trick" him into sucking on something other than me. He figured out quickly that the pacifier did not fill up his ever-groaning stomach. 

I tried to keep up to his demand by pumping on top of the every two to three hour feedings. Literally, my boobs were either occupied by Gabe or a pump 24-7. 

This, friends, was not sustainable for me. "They" (meaning all the books/websites I read) said that the more that is demanded from your breasts, the more they produce. I think that might be true for some, but it wasn't for me. I just always felt like Gabe wasn't satisfied or getting enough.

At one early visit to our pediatrician, I explained this. I explained that Gabe literally was an additional appendage growing from my chest, sucking the life out of me. Breastfeeding bliss? Yeah right.

My pediatrician looked at me with sweet, non-judgmental eyes. "Have you ever considered supplementing with formula? You could take "off" a feeding. Have Chris give the baby a bottle of formula and you and your breasts, take a breather."

Oh my gosh. Why had I not even entrained this idea? Because I am a perfectionist. I didn't want my family/friends/random stranger mothers to think I was not doing EVERYTHING "right." 

Guess what? I found out that taking a break from breastfeeding and supplementing with formula every night around the dinner hour was a necessity for my sanity. Chris could come home and feed Gabe while I chilled out and enjoyed some time AWAY from a sucking baby.

The other aspect of supplementing with a formula bottle occasionally was that it gave me peace of mind. Perhaps I wouldn't have extra breastmilk on hand or perhaps we would be traveling and I couldn't produce enough to satisfy Gabe. Bringing some formula in the diaper bag gave me PEACE of mind, something that I have now found to be PRICELESS.

There are other times when I breastfeed Gabe and I think he just needs to be "topped off," so I give him an additional few ounces of formula. This happens most often at bedtime, when my milk supply is at its lowest. The formula "topper" eases my mind and fills up Gabe's belly a bedtime.

I could count on more than two hands the number of times I've been asked if I breastfeed or formula feed. Why do people care so much? On multiple occasions, Chris's grandmother has asked me, "Is that (referring to a bottle) YOURS or is it formula? Why does it matter!?!

If someone has the answer to that question, please let me know. 

Sometimes, PEACE and a baby with a FULL tummy is more highly desired than worrying about the judgement that may come from women whom have nothing else to do but evaluate your milk production or lack thereof.

Even now, at six moths, I still supplement with formula, about one feeding per day. It gives me a break and it allows other people to feed Gabe. It is a win-win for everyone!

Whatever your choice, do what is best AND MOST PRACTICAL for you. Don't worry about women onlookers, who in all seriousness, need to get a life. 

Be confident in your choice. You're doing a GREAT job caring for your baby! 



**If you were wondering about my specific formula choice, the recommendation of my pediatrician, here it is: 

Exhaustion.

I know I haven't posted in a while. I'm sorry for that.

I know you know I've been busy with Gabe and work and Chris and life...

I was telling my mom the other day, "Wow, this is the most tired I've ever been in my life." And what's funny was that Gabe had actually slept through the night the night before. The tired of which I was speaking was not a sleep deprived tired, but more of a mentally drained, physically exhausted, need-to-sit-in-silence-for-at-least-ten-minutes tired.

This past week alone I lost my car keys and my cellphone. Yes, it appears I am 89 years old. After three days of using the spare car keys and getting into the house using the garage door opener, I found my keys. In the bottom of the diaper bag. The exact place I had looked thirteen times for them.

Two days later, when Gabe was down for his afternoon nap (YES- hello! He naps for at least 1 hour now!! Major breakthrough!) I realized I hadn't checked my phone all day. It wasn't on my nightstand. It wasn't on any visible surface around the house. Hmm. Where could it be? I called it using our house phone, hoping to hear it ringing or vibrating somewhere. And then... I remembered it was on silent.

The next afternoon, I found it. In Gabe's sock drawer. 

Whilst my brain cells may be deteriorating, my heart is full. I fall asleep each night before ten (not kidding) exhausted in a new way I've never experienced. 

The phone conversation with my mom about my exhaustion ended with her saying, "You know, I remember that feeling. I remember those YEARS. Looking back now, I see what a treasure they were."

Something for me to keep in mind. Hopefully I can remember do to so! 

Making this sink in...

These words are so true, but the actual life application is difficult, one I'm working on. I'm thinking of printing out this quote and posting it all over my house this week.