I am so sorry I haven't written to update you on the FET process. It has been a crazy past week for sure!
Monday 11/23 was our transfer. All went well. We transferred in one, grade AA embryo.
Between decorating for Christmas, celebrating Thanksgiving, and learning my lines for our church Christmas musical, this past week has flown by. It seems though, that time is standing still today. I have one week until I go for my blood work pregnancy test.
Did I break down and buy pregnancy tests at Rite Aide yesterday? YES. Have I taken any? Yes. And... nothing.
I know it is early. I know I am mental about peeing on sticks. It's like torture for me. I DON'T want to know that it didn't work while simultaneously, I WANT to know if it did!
Chris is staring at me each day, analyzing me. I feel like I am under a microscope. I am glad he's in the woods hunting today. He needed some time away from the nuthouse.
Monday, November 30, 2015
Monday, November 16, 2015
Lining Check
I drove to the Harrisburg office this morning for a quick ultrasound and blood work appointment. The doctor there said my lining looked "Gorgeous" and measured 12 mm (anything about 8 mm is best). Good news. Now waiting for the call to see when I add in the progesterone shots into the mix. Transfer is still set for a week from today.
Surreal.
Though we have been "doing IVF" for a while now, I am still amazed at the reality of a tiny, little human being placed in my belly. Even at five days old, the miracle of life is beautiful, inspiring, scary... hard to put in words.
I've crammed my calendar full for the next fews weeks, with the hope that in the two-week-waiting period before a pregnancy test, I won't go completely insane.
I almost feel like even writing these words, I'm putting the cart before the horse. It feels like so long since we've gotten this far along in the process. Actually, thinking about it, it's been three years since Gabe's transfer.
I just can't forget all of the wonderfully terrifying emotions that accompany a ride on the fertility train.
I came across an article "My Arms Are No Longer Empty, But My Heart Will Never Forget" posted by a friend this week. It speaks to the reality that infertility never really leaves you, even if you have ten kids in tow. Even if your family is complete.
And in my "I won't forget" promise to other women waiting for motherhood, I promise never to forget to point to a God who walks right with me even when I doubt. Who loves me exactly where I am, and smiles at my Type A nervous energy. He knows me. He loves me. His plan for me is perfect, even when it seems fuzzy and confusing to me.
Surreal.
Though we have been "doing IVF" for a while now, I am still amazed at the reality of a tiny, little human being placed in my belly. Even at five days old, the miracle of life is beautiful, inspiring, scary... hard to put in words.
I've crammed my calendar full for the next fews weeks, with the hope that in the two-week-waiting period before a pregnancy test, I won't go completely insane.
I almost feel like even writing these words, I'm putting the cart before the horse. It feels like so long since we've gotten this far along in the process. Actually, thinking about it, it's been three years since Gabe's transfer.
I just can't forget all of the wonderfully terrifying emotions that accompany a ride on the fertility train.
I came across an article "My Arms Are No Longer Empty, But My Heart Will Never Forget" posted by a friend this week. It speaks to the reality that infertility never really leaves you, even if you have ten kids in tow. Even if your family is complete.
And in my "I won't forget" promise to other women waiting for motherhood, I promise never to forget to point to a God who walks right with me even when I doubt. Who loves me exactly where I am, and smiles at my Type A nervous energy. He knows me. He loves me. His plan for me is perfect, even when it seems fuzzy and confusing to me.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Chugging along!
The estrogen shots are going well. I get one every three days. These inter-muscular injections are easiest I've taken so far; that could because my rump is well padded! Chris is a pro at giving injections by now too, so that helps.
I head to Shady Grove next Monday to have my uterine lining checked. Then, that night, I will add the progesterone injections to be taken each night until the transfer.
If all looks good we return on 11/23 for embryo transfer!
Also, I wanted to promote a devotional that has been a HUGE help to me. The words on each page are authentic, insightful and offer so many valuable illustrations to help anyone struggling through a WAIT. This devotional intentionally places you in the Word and provides commentary to help you decipher how God may be calling you to use your waiting time.
http://www.hollyholtdesign.com/in-the-wait-study/
I head to Shady Grove next Monday to have my uterine lining checked. Then, that night, I will add the progesterone injections to be taken each night until the transfer.
If all looks good we return on 11/23 for embryo transfer!
Also, I wanted to promote a devotional that has been a HUGE help to me. The words on each page are authentic, insightful and offer so many valuable illustrations to help anyone struggling through a WAIT. This devotional intentionally places you in the Word and provides commentary to help you decipher how God may be calling you to use your waiting time.
http://www.hollyholtdesign.com/in-the-wait-study/
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Frozen Embryo Transfer Schedule
It's been a few weeks since I've posted. I wanted to update you all on my FET schedule.
I started birth control 10 days ago (I know. Weird. My nurse says that birth control helps settle everything down, and now that we don't care what my ovaries do or produce, we can use birth control to help us get my uterus on track for transfer).
I have two more days of birth control to take. Then, I will go in on 11/2 (Monday) for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork, just to ensure that there are no cysts and that everything is good to go.
I'll start progesterone shots that night. Admittedly, I need to do more research on frozen embryo cycles because I don't know much! The progesterone shots are supposed to create a good lining in my uterus, preparing it well for the embryo.
I have an 11/16 ultrasound and bloodwork check up, and then our actual transfer day is set for 11/23.
Only three total office visits for a frozen embryo transfer!
We have three embryos that are frozen, but we plan to transfer only one in at a time. Here's to hoping there's a 2016 baby in our future.
I started birth control 10 days ago (I know. Weird. My nurse says that birth control helps settle everything down, and now that we don't care what my ovaries do or produce, we can use birth control to help us get my uterus on track for transfer).
I have two more days of birth control to take. Then, I will go in on 11/2 (Monday) for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork, just to ensure that there are no cysts and that everything is good to go.
I'll start progesterone shots that night. Admittedly, I need to do more research on frozen embryo cycles because I don't know much! The progesterone shots are supposed to create a good lining in my uterus, preparing it well for the embryo.
I have an 11/16 ultrasound and bloodwork check up, and then our actual transfer day is set for 11/23.
Only three total office visits for a frozen embryo transfer!
We have three embryos that are frozen, but we plan to transfer only one in at a time. Here's to hoping there's a 2016 baby in our future.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Sunshine and Good Grades!
After getting the news Friday night that we would not be doing a fresh embryo transfer this month, we were admittedly bummed. We felt like we were just pushing and pushing to get to that ending point, so when the plans changed and we discovered Dr. Sasson didn't want us to do a fresh transfer (he was worried that we would "waste" an opportunity for pregnancy in a non-optimal uterine environment due to high estrogen levels) we felt like there wasn't any closure or ending to our latest IVF cycle-coster!
Friday night, we did not know the three remaining embryo grades or even if they had made it to the full blastocycst stage. We were told that three early blastocysts were remaining and that all three would be frozen. We did not know anything else.
Because I no longer needed to have my cell phone permanently affixed to my body waiting for embryo updates, I left it inside all morning on Saturday. We ran errands and worked in the yard. For a few hours, I forgot about hormones and fertility. I felt sunshine on my face (or at least recognized it) for the first time in a few weeks. Glorious.
We came into the house for lunch and I saw I had a missed call and voicemail from Shady Grove. What. Could. This. Be?
Of course my hormonal mind jumped to all sorts of crazy:
- The lab caught fire.
- The embryos were stolen.
- Maria (the embryologist) was in an accident and couldn't make it to the office to freeze them in time.
- You get the point.
I froze. Picked up the phone and played the message:
Hi, Rachel. It's Maria. I just wanted to let you know that we did successfully freeze three embryos at the full blastocyst stage. Two have AA grades and one has an AB grade, which is fantastic! Just wanted to let you know. Have a great weekend.
WHAT?! WE HAVE THREE AWESOME EMBRYOS?!
I immediately started crying and jumping up and down. Chris was upstairs attempting to put Gabe down for a nap. I skipped up the steps and ran into Gabe's room. We have three--two AA and one AB!
A high-five, jumping, hugging party ensued for a few minutes, Gabe included. (That kid will do anything to avoid a nap!)
What awesome news. What a relief! The night before, we were feeling down about how the events of this past week had played out. We were feeling uncertain and just on edge.
Now, we are feeling optimistic. Honestly. This is the first time this cycle that I say I feel confident in the outcome.
In a world of statistics and odds, we just keep coming back to God's Will for us. We know He is sovereign and His plan is the one that He has hand picked for us because he loves us. It's hard not knowing what it is, but today, we can see how His plan has gotten us to where we are now. Who knows what these next months will hold, but I know who'll be walking right next to us.
Friday night, we did not know the three remaining embryo grades or even if they had made it to the full blastocycst stage. We were told that three early blastocysts were remaining and that all three would be frozen. We did not know anything else.
Because I no longer needed to have my cell phone permanently affixed to my body waiting for embryo updates, I left it inside all morning on Saturday. We ran errands and worked in the yard. For a few hours, I forgot about hormones and fertility. I felt sunshine on my face (or at least recognized it) for the first time in a few weeks. Glorious.
We came into the house for lunch and I saw I had a missed call and voicemail from Shady Grove. What. Could. This. Be?
Of course my hormonal mind jumped to all sorts of crazy:
- The lab caught fire.
- The embryos were stolen.
- Maria (the embryologist) was in an accident and couldn't make it to the office to freeze them in time.
- You get the point.
I froze. Picked up the phone and played the message:
Hi, Rachel. It's Maria. I just wanted to let you know that we did successfully freeze three embryos at the full blastocyst stage. Two have AA grades and one has an AB grade, which is fantastic! Just wanted to let you know. Have a great weekend.
WHAT?! WE HAVE THREE AWESOME EMBRYOS?!
I immediately started crying and jumping up and down. Chris was upstairs attempting to put Gabe down for a nap. I skipped up the steps and ran into Gabe's room. We have three--two AA and one AB!
A high-five, jumping, hugging party ensued for a few minutes, Gabe included. (That kid will do anything to avoid a nap!)
What awesome news. What a relief! The night before, we were feeling down about how the events of this past week had played out. We were feeling uncertain and just on edge.
Now, we are feeling optimistic. Honestly. This is the first time this cycle that I say I feel confident in the outcome.
In a world of statistics and odds, we just keep coming back to God's Will for us. We know He is sovereign and His plan is the one that He has hand picked for us because he loves us. It's hard not knowing what it is, but today, we can see how His plan has gotten us to where we are now. Who knows what these next months will hold, but I know who'll be walking right next to us.
Friday, October 9, 2015
Just Kidding....No Fresh Transfer
Dr. Sasson called a few hours ago. He decided to freeze the three remaining embryos to implant starting next month. Now no transfer tomorrow. He said my hormone count is too high (estrogen =4000) and not safe for a baby right now. Not horrible news but I'm still kinda bummed. Just more waiting. God's gotten us this far. I know He'll be with us for another month of waiting.
It's tempting to Google and research but honestly, I'm just tired. Tired of the roller coaster. For tonight, I'm going to step off this ride.
It's tempting to Google and research but honestly, I'm just tired. Tired of the roller coaster. For tonight, I'm going to step off this ride.
Day 4 Post-Retrieval
We still have 3!
Transfer is set for 11: 30 tomorrow morning. We will be getting a call between 7-8 AM to tell us if all three made it through the night. If only 2 made it, we will not go for transfer, but freeze and do a transfer next month.
I'm relieved. I'm still anxious. I'm grateful. I'm scared.... I don't know what or how I feel, really. Hormonal? Yes. That's it!
Transfer is set for 11: 30 tomorrow morning. We will be getting a call between 7-8 AM to tell us if all three made it through the night. If only 2 made it, we will not go for transfer, but freeze and do a transfer next month.
I'm relieved. I'm still anxious. I'm grateful. I'm scared.... I don't know what or how I feel, really. Hormonal? Yes. That's it!
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