Thursday, December 18, 2014

Pause.

A few months back I wrote about the prospect of IVF round 2. Since that time, we've had a phone consult with Dr. Sasson to discuss timelines/options. I was literally set to start this month. Normally, if something is on the calendar, it means it is happening. It means we are doing it.

However, a few weeks ago I just felt this need to pause. To wait. To chill. I don't get that feeling often. So why the hesitancy? IVF round two seems so detached from my life, from our family. It seems so distant and I just don't think I have the ambition or drive to reach for it at the moment or even in the next few months.

I wasn't sure if Chris felt the same. When I brought it up to him last week, he was surprisingly relaxed, stating that he too wanted a baby, but to do IVF right now, in the midst of the holidays and in the midst of a sweeter-but-more-stubborn-by-the-day toddler just didn't seem like the best timing.

So, we're pausing, and I've never been more okay with standing still.