Negative HPT this morning.
It's amazing how my eyes can stare deep into a white plastic stick, practically wishing another line into existence. Maybe if I hold it differently? Look at it under a different light?
Negatory. Nothing. Zilch.
Having hope while being a realist is a tough road to travel sometimes.
I've Googled using more fertility-related acronyms than I can count. Googling stinks. Just don't do it.
All the while, through the pain of very real disappointment and a little bit of anger, I am clinging to what I know about God, what I have to believe: He loves me so much that he would never cause anything to happen (or not happen) if it weren't exactly in His plan, the best plan, for my life.
Showing posts with label FET. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FET. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Monday, November 30, 2015
FET Done!
I am so sorry I haven't written to update you on the FET process. It has been a crazy past week for sure!
Monday 11/23 was our transfer. All went well. We transferred in one, grade AA embryo.
Between decorating for Christmas, celebrating Thanksgiving, and learning my lines for our church Christmas musical, this past week has flown by. It seems though, that time is standing still today. I have one week until I go for my blood work pregnancy test.
Did I break down and buy pregnancy tests at Rite Aide yesterday? YES. Have I taken any? Yes. And... nothing.
I know it is early. I know I am mental about peeing on sticks. It's like torture for me. I DON'T want to know that it didn't work while simultaneously, I WANT to know if it did!
Chris is staring at me each day, analyzing me. I feel like I am under a microscope. I am glad he's in the woods hunting today. He needed some time away from the nuthouse.
Monday 11/23 was our transfer. All went well. We transferred in one, grade AA embryo.
Between decorating for Christmas, celebrating Thanksgiving, and learning my lines for our church Christmas musical, this past week has flown by. It seems though, that time is standing still today. I have one week until I go for my blood work pregnancy test.
Did I break down and buy pregnancy tests at Rite Aide yesterday? YES. Have I taken any? Yes. And... nothing.
I know it is early. I know I am mental about peeing on sticks. It's like torture for me. I DON'T want to know that it didn't work while simultaneously, I WANT to know if it did!
Chris is staring at me each day, analyzing me. I feel like I am under a microscope. I am glad he's in the woods hunting today. He needed some time away from the nuthouse.
Monday, November 16, 2015
Lining Check
I drove to the Harrisburg office this morning for a quick ultrasound and blood work appointment. The doctor there said my lining looked "Gorgeous" and measured 12 mm (anything about 8 mm is best). Good news. Now waiting for the call to see when I add in the progesterone shots into the mix. Transfer is still set for a week from today.
Surreal.
Though we have been "doing IVF" for a while now, I am still amazed at the reality of a tiny, little human being placed in my belly. Even at five days old, the miracle of life is beautiful, inspiring, scary... hard to put in words.
I've crammed my calendar full for the next fews weeks, with the hope that in the two-week-waiting period before a pregnancy test, I won't go completely insane.
I almost feel like even writing these words, I'm putting the cart before the horse. It feels like so long since we've gotten this far along in the process. Actually, thinking about it, it's been three years since Gabe's transfer.
I just can't forget all of the wonderfully terrifying emotions that accompany a ride on the fertility train.
I came across an article "My Arms Are No Longer Empty, But My Heart Will Never Forget" posted by a friend this week. It speaks to the reality that infertility never really leaves you, even if you have ten kids in tow. Even if your family is complete.
And in my "I won't forget" promise to other women waiting for motherhood, I promise never to forget to point to a God who walks right with me even when I doubt. Who loves me exactly where I am, and smiles at my Type A nervous energy. He knows me. He loves me. His plan for me is perfect, even when it seems fuzzy and confusing to me.
Surreal.
Though we have been "doing IVF" for a while now, I am still amazed at the reality of a tiny, little human being placed in my belly. Even at five days old, the miracle of life is beautiful, inspiring, scary... hard to put in words.
I've crammed my calendar full for the next fews weeks, with the hope that in the two-week-waiting period before a pregnancy test, I won't go completely insane.
I almost feel like even writing these words, I'm putting the cart before the horse. It feels like so long since we've gotten this far along in the process. Actually, thinking about it, it's been three years since Gabe's transfer.
I just can't forget all of the wonderfully terrifying emotions that accompany a ride on the fertility train.
I came across an article "My Arms Are No Longer Empty, But My Heart Will Never Forget" posted by a friend this week. It speaks to the reality that infertility never really leaves you, even if you have ten kids in tow. Even if your family is complete.
And in my "I won't forget" promise to other women waiting for motherhood, I promise never to forget to point to a God who walks right with me even when I doubt. Who loves me exactly where I am, and smiles at my Type A nervous energy. He knows me. He loves me. His plan for me is perfect, even when it seems fuzzy and confusing to me.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Frozen Embryo Transfer Schedule
It's been a few weeks since I've posted. I wanted to update you all on my FET schedule.
I started birth control 10 days ago (I know. Weird. My nurse says that birth control helps settle everything down, and now that we don't care what my ovaries do or produce, we can use birth control to help us get my uterus on track for transfer).
I have two more days of birth control to take. Then, I will go in on 11/2 (Monday) for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork, just to ensure that there are no cysts and that everything is good to go.
I'll start progesterone shots that night. Admittedly, I need to do more research on frozen embryo cycles because I don't know much! The progesterone shots are supposed to create a good lining in my uterus, preparing it well for the embryo.
I have an 11/16 ultrasound and bloodwork check up, and then our actual transfer day is set for 11/23.
Only three total office visits for a frozen embryo transfer!
We have three embryos that are frozen, but we plan to transfer only one in at a time. Here's to hoping there's a 2016 baby in our future.
I started birth control 10 days ago (I know. Weird. My nurse says that birth control helps settle everything down, and now that we don't care what my ovaries do or produce, we can use birth control to help us get my uterus on track for transfer).
I have two more days of birth control to take. Then, I will go in on 11/2 (Monday) for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork, just to ensure that there are no cysts and that everything is good to go.
I'll start progesterone shots that night. Admittedly, I need to do more research on frozen embryo cycles because I don't know much! The progesterone shots are supposed to create a good lining in my uterus, preparing it well for the embryo.
I have an 11/16 ultrasound and bloodwork check up, and then our actual transfer day is set for 11/23.
Only three total office visits for a frozen embryo transfer!
We have three embryos that are frozen, but we plan to transfer only one in at a time. Here's to hoping there's a 2016 baby in our future.
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