Wednesday, November 20, 2013


It's crazy that, with a three month old, I am already thinking about getting pregnant again. Many people have asked: Do you think you'll do IVF again? I think the real question is: Do we think we will have to do IVF again?

Of course I want to get pregnant naturally. Any person who has struggled with infertility still considers that the ultimate success--- pregnancy without any medical intervention! Of course, if medical intervention is needed, we will most certainly be doing IVF again.

Timeline, you ask?

In a weird way, 3 months post delivery, I miss being pregnant. WHAT!? you say? I miss the excitement of a baby on the way-- I miss the feeling of a baby moving around in there:)

Then, I have moments (at 2 AM or at 2 PM-- when Gabe should be sleeping at night or napping in the day but IS NOT) that I think: Are you crazy!? Could you imagine doing this with a toddler running around? While I have no doubt it will be crazy, we are planning to get pregnant again as soon as I am healed enough from the C-section, and as soon as we have paid off the fertility loan we needed in order to do IVF round one.

My local doctor said that women whom have had C-sections should wait at least one year before getting pregnant again, as the uterus must heal completely before it has to handle carrying another baby.

You know me--- Miss Plan-My-Life-Out. Nothing has really changed there--- I still like to have a plan, even if I know that it will change.

The real question here is: Do I trust God with the outcome, whatever it is? Will we get pregnant on our own? Will IVF work a second time? Will Gabe be our only child?

I know. I know: Focus on the here and now. Focus on Gabe. Don't be greedy--- love up that chunker, even when he isn't sleeping and is a crankaponomous. Love him now. Appreciate NOW.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Overnight Madness

On Friday afternoon, Gabe and I set the GPS for Lancaster and started off for my annual weekend away with my old college roommates. I thought about leaving him home with Chris, but at three months old, I just couldn't think of leaving him overnight yet. The "roommate extravaganza" this year was a bit different with a baby in tow; packing for a baby is crazy! Sound machine, binks, diapers, wipes, monitor etc. Insane. Who knew a little baby would have so much baggage?! :)

The car ride was uneventful--- Gabe blissfully slept the whole drive. After hugging each other for a solid five minutes, my roommates and I unpacked and set up "Babyville".  Gabe was not the only baby along for the weekend, so I didn't feel too badly about invading my friend Emily's house with everything baby.

My main concern was how Gabe was going to sleep in a Pack N' Play. He'd never done it before and as nighttime approached, I started to feel that slow, nervous, panic feeling creep in. I had a feeling the night might not be too much fun for me.

I was right.

After initially putting Gabe down around 8:30, I headed downstairs to join my friends, bottle of wine in hand. Heaven.

My momentary bliss was short lived. Gabe began crying at around 9:30 and proceeded to wake up every hour on the hour throughout the night. Not cool.

Having never slept in his Pack n' Play, he was not used to the sound that it made as he moved around---even with the sound machine, he still kept waking himself up.

Needless to say, it was a rough night. Gabe ended up joining the ladies downstairs as we caught up and chatted late into the night.

The next morning at about 5 AM (after literally the LONGEST night since Gabe was born), I carried Gabe downstairs to find my friend Katie with her daughter (7 months old) already up. At least I wasn't alone with a baby up and ready to face the day at 5 AM.

Regardless of my complete night without sleep, it was an awesome time of catching up and laughing deliriously together, complete with numerous cups of the strongest coffee I've ever tasted in my life. No joke---I think I might have chest hair now.

Next year, I am vowing to leave Gabe at home with Chris:)