Breastfeeding and/or Formula Feeding

Please note that I didn't title this post, "Breastfeeding VS Formula Feeding."

Just as there are specifically defined "camps" on the stay-at-home-mom VS working mom issue, there are stern camps regarding how babies "should" be fed.

At six months post birth, I feel like I can actually write about this topic with some clarity. 

The women in my family (mother, sister-in-laws, aunts, cousins etc) have all been avid breastfeeding mothers. When I was pregnant with Gabe, I assumed I would have no issues breastfeeding and as such, would join the ranks of happy breastfeeding mothers, both past and present.

I've posted before about Gabe and his LOVE of eating. Even now, as he has started baby food, he cries when the food is gone. The kid likes to eat. He has the cheeks to prove it.

When I began breastfeeding, I did so every two hours, round the clock. Literally, Gabe could have camped out on my chest and been happy. For the first month or two, that was fine. I wasn't really needing to do anything else besides care for him, (and occasionally shower), so boob-camping was totally fine. But then, I got really, really tired of doing it myself. 

No one else can "help" you breastfeed. It is nothing that Chris can step up and do at 3 AM. Yes, there were moments were I felt so at peace, with my baby, peacefully eating in my arms. But then, there were other moments, where he frantically sucked away, acting like he hadn't been fed in four days. 

There is nothing worse, as a new mom, than feeling like you can't FEED YOUR BABY and SATISFY him. 

We used a pacifier between feedings to "trick" him into sucking on something other than me. He figured out quickly that the pacifier did not fill up his ever-groaning stomach. 

I tried to keep up to his demand by pumping on top of the every two to three hour feedings. Literally, my boobs were either occupied by Gabe or a pump 24-7. 

This, friends, was not sustainable for me. "They" (meaning all the books/websites I read) said that the more that is demanded from your breasts, the more they produce. I think that might be true for some, but it wasn't for me. I just always felt like Gabe wasn't satisfied or getting enough.

At one early visit to our pediatrician, I explained this. I explained that Gabe literally was an additional appendage growing from my chest, sucking the life out of me. Breastfeeding bliss? Yeah right.

My pediatrician looked at me with sweet, non-judgmental eyes. "Have you ever considered supplementing with formula? You could take "off" a feeding. Have Chris give the baby a bottle of formula and you and your breasts, take a breather."

Oh my gosh. Why had I not even entrained this idea? Because I am a perfectionist. I didn't want my family/friends/random stranger mothers to think I was not doing EVERYTHING "right." 

Guess what? I found out that taking a break from breastfeeding and supplementing with formula every night around the dinner hour was a necessity for my sanity. Chris could come home and feed Gabe while I chilled out and enjoyed some time AWAY from a sucking baby.

The other aspect of supplementing with a formula bottle occasionally was that it gave me peace of mind. Perhaps I wouldn't have extra breastmilk on hand or perhaps we would be traveling and I couldn't produce enough to satisfy Gabe. Bringing some formula in the diaper bag gave me PEACE of mind, something that I have now found to be PRICELESS.

There are other times when I breastfeed Gabe and I think he just needs to be "topped off," so I give him an additional few ounces of formula. This happens most often at bedtime, when my milk supply is at its lowest. The formula "topper" eases my mind and fills up Gabe's belly a bedtime.

I could count on more than two hands the number of times I've been asked if I breastfeed or formula feed. Why do people care so much? On multiple occasions, Chris's grandmother has asked me, "Is that (referring to a bottle) YOURS or is it formula? Why does it matter!?!

If someone has the answer to that question, please let me know. 

Sometimes, PEACE and a baby with a FULL tummy is more highly desired than worrying about the judgement that may come from women whom have nothing else to do but evaluate your milk production or lack thereof.

Even now, at six moths, I still supplement with formula, about one feeding per day. It gives me a break and it allows other people to feed Gabe. It is a win-win for everyone!

Whatever your choice, do what is best AND MOST PRACTICAL for you. Don't worry about women onlookers, who in all seriousness, need to get a life. 

Be confident in your choice. You're doing a GREAT job caring for your baby! 



**If you were wondering about my specific formula choice, the recommendation of my pediatrician, here it is: 

God and Breastfeeding... What?!?

I never thought I would be relying on God so much with regard to my ability to breastfeed Gabe. Even as I type the words "breastfeed" and "God" in the same sentence, I am feeling funny! This post might seem a bit strange, but like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of my breast-filled life!

Gabe is over a month old and has been eating like a champ; very minimal issues in the food department. So minimal in fact, that we introduced a pacifier and were giving him a bottle (to give me a break) once daily.

It's funny--- I get so excited when he demonstrates any kind of a pattern or routine. Oh, how I crave routine! Until last night, we were cruising right along in the breastfeeding department. I recall thinking, Seriously! This is no big deal. It is time consuming, but pretty effortless.

And then, last night happened.

Let me set the stage: I went to a friend's house yesterday afternoon. Instead of whipping out my chest to feed Gabe, I had pumped prior and had a bottle to give him while she and I visited. We came home and Chris's parents stopped by to see Gabe. Right as they walked in, he started crying because he was hungry (I think they have a radar and know when is the most inopportune time to "pop" in). Instead of strangely sitting and trying to entertain them whilst breastfeeding, I ran upstairs, pumped quickly, and gave Chris's mom the chance to bottle feed Gabe (which she loved). For those of you who are counting, that is two bottle feedings in a row.

Two hours later, the kid is hungry again. Chris's family is still here (shocker). Chris's sister wants to feed the baby. So, I pump and give her the bottle. (#3).

Finally, around 9:30, they leave. I take Gabe up to feed him before bed and he totally REJECTS me. He refuses to eat, starts freaking out, turning red, and proceeds to scream at the top of his lungs. It was like he forgot how to latch on to my breast.

After about thirty minutes of this, I decide I am going to put him in his crib so I can Google the problem. (Thank heaven for Google!)

Apparently, some babies start to prefer the bottle because the milk comes out faster and it is easier for them to eat. So Gabe= a lazy chunker who likes his meals easy-style!

I kept thinking, he has to remember how to breastfeed. Seriously. He has been doing it for the past six weeks! Does he not know that if he simply latched on, he would be able to eat. Duh.

The most frustrating part was there was NOTHING I could do to get him to eat. I wanted so badly just to give him a bottle and be done with it. I knew he would take a bottle. However, I just didn't think I was ready (or Gabe for that matter) to give up on breastfeeding so soon.

When you have not slept in what seems like days, you begin to talk out loud to anyone, anyone who, at 2 AM can hear you. In my case, it was Gabe and God.

Please God. Help him. Help me. I can't do this. Why is this so hard!?

Who knew I'd be shooting up prayers for breastfeeding help! But, alas, He tells us to cast our cares upon Him; feeding my new baby was on the top of my "care list".

So, 48 hours and many frustrated feedings later, we are back on track. No bottles for us for a while!

I'm thankful for a Father who doesn't abandon me (or Gabe ) in our hour(s) of need--- even if breastfeeding is the need atop our list.

Breastfeeding Class

God has a sense of humor. Last week, Chris and I waltzed into the Breastfeeding 101 class at the hospital; it was a 90 minute crash course in breastfeeding. Chris wasn't originally going to come along. I didn't think he needed to as clearly, I am the one with the integral anatomy required for the task. But, Chris wanted to come, saying he needed to be in the loop too: "We're in this together, right?"

I fully expected to see no other testosterone represented at the class. I was completely wrong! There were about ten other couples there, both husbands and wives,  ready to learn the ins and outs of breastfeeding. Oh the joy!

What I noticed next upon stepping into the room, was a blast from my past---- my first kiss! There he sat....next to his very pregnant wife. (I told you God has a sense of humor!)

He immediately jumped up out of his seat and walked over to give me a hug.

"Bob": "Imagine seeing you here!"

Me: "Yes, wow. I didn't know you and your wife were expecting. Congratulations!"

"Bob": "Yes. We are expecting a little girl in a few weeks. We have read so much and taken four classes. I even took the Father Boot Camp course last week. We are excited for this breastfeeding class so we can be even more ready for the baby! "

Ready for their future daughter... now that was an understatement coming from Type-A First-Kiss Boy. You'll see why:

Some background---- I've known "Bob" since birth. Our families attended the same church for the first 20 plus years of my life. During that time, "Bob" and I were in Sunday School and youth group together. What stood out most about him, as I thought back, was his fierce competitive nature.

From bible sword drills to other games, he was always the most competitive guy participating. He broke a girl's collarbone playing ultimate frisbee, only weeks before her wedding. I mean, come on! It's church fun, but not kill-or-be-killed! ( I do know he felt really bad about it though!)

Let's just say that nothing has really changed with regard to "Bob's" competitiveness.  Chris and I sat in the back of the breastfeeding class and watched as his hand was ALWAYS the first to shoot up to answer a question or to correct the breastfeeding instructor. Seriously?!? She is the licensed lactation consultant!

I know that I am competitive too. I am not denying that. In fact, as we walked out to the parking lot after class, Chris says:

"Can you imagine if you'd married "Bob"! Your kid would annihilate everyone in every game or activity. He or she would have no friends because they would be too intense. Seriously. It is good you married a low-key, pleasant-natured person like me."

Ha. Ha. Yes, Chris Knipe. You're right.

All in all, it was a comical night. From watching videos about nipple confusion and engorged breasts, to seeing my first kiss, I am once again reminded that God does indeed have a sense of humor....How can you not laugh at that? Chris actually  reprimanded me several times for laughing too hard at a "formal class" that couples paid to attend. Formal? If I learned anything it is that there is nothing formal about breastfeeding!