Sunday, July 21, 2013

Practice Round One... Check!

Note: I began writing this post LAST Sunday, but the day and then the rest of this week totally got away from me! Anyhow, here's a "fun" story from seven days ago:

Today, Chris and I went to church and then had two picnics scheduled on the calendar for the afternoon. Both places included the option to go swimming--- an option that was very appealing to me at nine months pregnant in the 95 degree heat! However, I didn't even get the chance to plop in the water because we spent the majority of the afternoon on the Labor and Delivery floor at the hospital. That's right: labor fake-out number one led us to the hospital today. Here's the now-comical, rundown of events:

We got to the picnic and I took a seat on a three-person swing in the shade. I sat for an hour or so and when I stood up, I realized the back of my dress was completely soaked. Weird, I thought. I know I didn't pee my pants.... Did I sit on something wet? Were the cushions wet on the swing?

I nonchalantly tried to see if the other two spots on the swing were wet. They were not. But the middle seat, where I had been sitting, was wet. Was it wet from me? Was it wet previously? I would have felt that when I first sat down, right? And then... as if out of nowhere...a revelation: Holy cow! Maybe my water broke!

I tried to stealthily grab Chris to come to the bathroom with me so I could have another opinion weigh in on the wet dress situation.

Chris: Rachel, the bathroom is inside to the left. Do you really need me to come with you?

Me: YES. (accompanied by the Rachel-Knipe-look-of death)

We got into the bathroom and I show him the back of my dress.

Me: I think my water broke. 

Chris: What? No. Wait. What?

Me: Seriously. I think my water broke. I checked the cushions on the seat and the only one that was wet was the one that I was just sitting on. I don't know whether it was wet because of me, or if it was already wet, although I would have felt that when I first sat down? I don't know.

Chris: Okay. What do we do? 

Me: Call the doctor to see if I need to come in.

And so I called the hospital and was told I needed to come in to be checked. And so began a comical series of events that Chris and I now refer to as: Practice Round One.

We jumped in the car, leaving the picnic quickly (attempting to NOT be seen by the masses so before we actually knew what was going on).

We drove home (without the radio on because Chris said he needed to concentrate. I was laughing), threw some essentials into a bag, and headed to the hospital. The hospital is five minutes from our house. We have been there, over a dozen times in the last few months alone, so surely Chris would know where to park, right? False.

We pulled into a spot and Chris says: Are you okay?!

My reply: Are YOU okay? Calm down. I'm fine. And we are not in the right parking lot so we need to drive around to the other side of the hospital.

Chris: Right. Duh.

Upon arrival to the Labor and Delivery floor, we were asked to show ID and insurance info.... At that moment, I realized that I had left my purse at the picnic and that Chris's wallet was IN that purse (located about a half an hour away).

So there we were, two educated, usually competent adults without photo ID or insurance information. Classic.

The admitting nurse was sweet and said we could get all hooked up the monitors and get in a room without such credentials, but should we really be in labor, we would need someone to drop them off soon!

We got back into one of the labor and delivery suites. I got into a gown. Got an arm bracelet--- it felt like a legitimate scenario!

After some time on the monitor and a few "fun" tests, the midwife determined that my water had not broken and that it didn't appear that I was in labor.

I felt like a total idiot. I didn't pee my pants. Honestly, I didn't. Perhaps I was the lucky one who got a seat cushion at the picnic that had some moisture in it that slowly soaked through my dress to my underwear? Who the heck knows. All in all, I felt like a total looser, but a looser who now has one practice round under her belt! And in reality, I think it was more beneficial for Chris than for me. After all, that kid needs to learn to calm down!

Here's to hoping that the next time we step onto the Labor and Delivery floor it will be the real deal!

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