This week, I have to travel for work. I am not looking forward to it. I've literally woken up in the night in a panic just thinking about it.
I do have a great job that allows me to work from home almost year-round. Working-from-home the majority of the year does have its perks; I get to be home with Gabe and work at the same time. While that is also an obstacle a times (see Hybrid Mom post), I am certainly really fortunate to be able to work as an educational administrator from my own house.
The downside is that I do have to travel now and then. This week, I have to leave Gabe for three nights and four days. Who's counting, you ask? Me, that's who. I know the days will fly by, but the thought of not seeing my sweet boy for half a week makes me so sad and anxious.
For the past year + nine months, I've basically been with him around the clock. There is this unexplainable bond that exists between us--- I just am not ready to not be with him for multiple days at a time. I know in 18 years, he'll head to college and I'll have to be more ready to be separated from him. Who knows? Perhaps then I'll be shoving him out of the door.
But for now, I dread flying out of state and leaving him. Tonight, I put Gabe to bed and rocked him longer than normal. I'm not going to lie--- I also bawled my eyes out.
I know he'll be fine. He will.
I wish someone would invent a Gabe-IV drip, so I could keep some of his chub, sweet smiles, and baby smell running through my veins from afar.