I've admittedly been angry with God lately. I see myself in Jonah's actions, as he sits, angry at God for killing his stupid vine, when meanwhile, there were thousands of people unsaved.
"Is it right for you to be angry?" God asked.
I know that's me. I am Jonah in this moment. I know my anger is hindering my ability to be used by God, even in everyday interactions with others. I feel surrounded by anger, grief, and disappointment. I know this is just a tough time. Chris and I remind each other of that every day. It's not forever.
But what about now?
I'm still allowed to be angry, right? I'm standing here, waiting for Him. In that waiting though, how do I get my eyes of off my current struggles to see what He wants, to see the many, many good things He's given me that I don't deserve?
There have been days when I've looked my Bible with resentment. I'm not picking that up today. I'm blocking it out, Him out.
And then, there are times like today when I think, I have NOTHING BUT HIS WORD to help me understand His ways. And I'm thankful (still mad though) but thankful for His desire to WANT to speak to me this morning.