After getting the news Friday night that we would not be doing a fresh embryo transfer this month, we were admittedly bummed. We felt like we were just pushing and pushing to get to that ending point, so when the plans changed and we discovered Dr. Sasson didn't want us to do a fresh transfer (he was worried that we would "waste" an opportunity for pregnancy in a non-optimal uterine environment due to high estrogen levels) we felt like there wasn't any closure or ending to our latest IVF cycle-coster!
Friday night, we did not know the three remaining embryo grades or even if they had made it to the full blastocycst stage. We were told that three early blastocysts were remaining and that all three would be frozen. We did not know anything else.
Because I no longer needed to have my cell phone permanently affixed to my body waiting for embryo updates, I left it inside all morning on Saturday. We ran errands and worked in the yard. For a few hours, I forgot about hormones and fertility. I felt sunshine on my face (or at least recognized it) for the first time in a few weeks. Glorious.
We came into the house for lunch and I saw I had a missed call and voicemail from Shady Grove. What. Could. This. Be?
Of course my hormonal mind jumped to all sorts of crazy:
- The lab caught fire.
- The embryos were stolen.
- Maria (the embryologist) was in an accident and couldn't make it to the office to freeze them in time.
- You get the point.
I froze. Picked up the phone and played the message:
Hi, Rachel. It's Maria. I just wanted to let you know that we did successfully freeze three embryos at the full blastocyst stage. Two have AA grades and one has an AB grade, which is fantastic! Just wanted to let you know. Have a great weekend.
WHAT?! WE HAVE THREE AWESOME EMBRYOS?!
I immediately started crying and jumping up and down. Chris was upstairs attempting to put Gabe down for a nap. I skipped up the steps and ran into Gabe's room. We have three--two AA and one AB!
A high-five, jumping, hugging party ensued for a few minutes, Gabe included. (That kid will do anything to avoid a nap!)
What awesome news. What a relief! The night before, we were feeling down about how the events of this past week had played out. We were feeling uncertain and just on edge.
Now, we are feeling optimistic. Honestly. This is the first time this cycle that I say I feel confident in the outcome.
In a world of statistics and odds, we just keep coming back to God's Will for us. We know He is sovereign and His plan is the one that He has hand picked for us because he loves us. It's hard not knowing what it is, but today, we can see how His plan has gotten us to where we are now. Who knows what these next months will hold, but I know who'll be walking right next to us.