Monday, November 16, 2015

Lining Check

I drove to the Harrisburg office this morning for a quick ultrasound and blood work appointment. The doctor there said my lining looked "Gorgeous" and measured 12 mm (anything about 8 mm is best). Good news. Now waiting for the call to see when I add in the progesterone shots into the mix. Transfer is still set for a week from today.

Surreal.

Though we have been "doing IVF" for a while now, I am still amazed at the reality of a tiny, little human being placed in my belly. Even at five days old, the miracle of life is beautiful, inspiring, scary... hard to put in words.

I've crammed my calendar full for the next fews weeks, with the hope that in the two-week-waiting period before a pregnancy test, I won't go completely insane.

I almost feel like even writing these words, I'm putting the cart before the horse. It feels like so long since we've gotten this far along in the process. Actually, thinking about it, it's been three years since Gabe's transfer. 

I just can't forget all of the wonderfully terrifying emotions that accompany a ride on the fertility train.

I came across an article "My Arms Are No Longer Empty, But My Heart Will Never Forget" posted by a friend this week. It speaks to the reality that infertility never really leaves you, even if you have ten kids in tow. Even if your family is complete.

And in my "I won't forget" promise to other women waiting for motherhood, I promise never to forget to point to a God who walks right with me even when I doubt. Who loves me exactly where I am, and smiles at my Type A nervous energy. He knows me. He loves me. His plan for me is perfect, even when it seems fuzzy and confusing to me.









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