Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Not only ONE WAY

I have a Day 3 baseline ultrasound and bloodwork appointment in Harrisburg tomorrow.... I have to admit that a month away from the fertility circus was so wonderful. I actually went DAYS without thinking about my uterus. Really. I did. And it was glorious.

To recap, we have two frozen embryos remaining from our October IVF cycle. We have done one frozen embryo transfer (in Nov) and that did not work. We plan to do another frozen embryo transfer this month (Jan 28th). If that doesn't work, we are pulling away from fertility land and heading to adoption.

Yes, we will still have one frozen embryo remaining. That little potential life will be something we pursue a few years from now, after we adopt (if that's what God's planning for us?!). Chris came up with this "plan" of sorts, and I feel peaceful about it.

Will it be difficult if this January embryo doesn't want to stick around with us? YES. Will we move forward as a family? YES.

I was reminded of something my therapist said to me a few months back. We (as humans) usually have ONE WAY in mind for how we want something to go. We have ONE WAY that we think will work. We have ONE WAY we'd prefer.

Sometimes though, God teaches us, shows us, that THERE CAN BE MORE THAN ONE WAY.

Those words are heavy and hard to take in all at once, especially for control freaks like me who think they know it all. Slowly though, I am beginning to accept this idea; God's way is the best way and He loves me enough to plan the BEST way for me, even when it doesn't match up with my version of MY best way.

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