Friday, February 22, 2013

Fighting the Urge

Did you know that the urge to compare begins even before birth?

Last week at our 16 week check up, I heard static and loud, random sounds along with the heartbeat. I thought the machine was old. Turns out that those noises (besides the bay's beating heart) came from the baby twisting and jumping around in my stomach.

You can't feel that? says our nurse.

Nope. Not yet. And this is normal, so I've read. While I can't wait to feel the baby move and add one more layer of legitimacy to this pregnancy, I trust that the baby is still safe and growing, even though I can't feel him/her.

There are a few friends/acquaintances of mine whom are also pregnant right now (all ranging between 12-20 weeks along). Their comments exclaiming "flutters" and "bubbles" and "baby kicks" make me believe the baby inside me wants to operate on his/her own timetable. And you know what? I'm okay with that.

I wish I could proclaim that I will never be the mother who compares the progress of her child with that of other children, because here's what that turns into: My child could walk at 3 months old. He was potty trained by age 1, and could play all 27 of Mozart's piano concertos by age 3.

Humans make comparisons and rank each other both knowingly and unknowingly daily.

While I know I won't be a perfect mother, I can at least promise not to compare this baby to others before he/she is even born. That's just not fair.

But--- should he/she want to kick me or move about sometime soon, I would be okay with that!

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