Join the Movement...

Join the Movement: Bring Infertility Out of the Shadows

National Infertility Awareness Week

For many couples, Chris and me included, it was a daunting task to step out and acknowledge publicly that we struggled with fertility issues. We didn't do it in one huge jump. We still have been hesitant to share openly with some people because we're just too sensitive about it. But step by step, we have slowly opened up and shared our experience with more and more people. 

Someone from Shady Grove contacted me the other day and asked: What has been the most surprising part of your journey to becoming pregnant?

I don't think I can sum that up in a sentence or two, but realistically, Chris and I have been surprised at the number of people that have "come out of the woodwork" so-to-speak, who have struggled or are still struggling with infertility. 

When you are going through the experience, you feel so isolated and alone; it is as if you're watching couples and new families live their lives from far above---an outsider looking down at a dream that feels unbelievably far away.

At the same time, you have to continue to live your life. It's hard. It's frustrating. And at times, it's difficult to deal with people who do not understand or acknowledge that hardship.

Another surprising aspect of our infertility experience has been the grace and the providence God has shown us. I dont' know why I am surprised, but I am. I've learned more about who He is and who I am in Him during the past few years than I would have learned if my life were paved out in front of me, fully equipped with road signs and maps with keys explaining each new location along the way. 

Yesterday's sermon was about trust. We've heard it before: Trust God. He knows what He's doing. 

Yeah. Right. Tell that to someone who just lost a spouse. Tell that to someone with a life threatening illness. Tell that to a couple desperately wanting to start a family. 

It's a hard pill to swallow.

But here's the thing: trust requires risk. Without risk, there's no reason to authentically trust. Trusting God and placing the events of our lives, no mater how trivial or how grave, into His hands requires us to risk being out of control, stepping away from the command center of our lives.

Trusting God also requires a perpetual turning over of the reins. Daily. I've not mastered this. I am working on it.

With regard to National Infertility Awareness Week, it's our hope that more people will come to know about infertility. While no one expects someone whom has not been touched with infertility to understand it all, it would be amazing to bring this topic out of the shadows and into the light. 

My dearest friend Katie got pregnant the first month she tried to conceive. She had a dream pregnancy and now has a beautiful baby girl. She loves me almost as much as my husband does, but the reality is, she can never get what it was like for me to struggle with infertility. However, she was informed and was able to support me the best she could. I appreciated that. 

If someone you know is clueless about infertility, here is a great link to help them understand what you're experiencing. They don't have to "get it" 100%, but sharing about it is the first step toward their growing understanding and your diminished resentment. 

http://www.resolve.org/infertility-overview/what-is-infertility/