Futile Tips from Fertile People

For today's post, I decided to come up with a list of some of the things people have said to us since we started experiencing infertility. This is not a complete list, but we thought you'd enjoy the following Futile Tips from Fertile People:

"ADVICE"

• "You guys need to just relax. You guys should go on vacation. I bet you would get pregnant on vacation." (I'd have had 10 kids by now if that were true)
• "There are some really special positions you should try..." (Someone from my church gave me that nuget of wisdom. I promptly vomited in my mouth)
• "Do you kids know there are some days that are just better than others to try?"
• "What about your body temperature? They sell those neat kits that tell you when you are ovulating. You should try that."
• "Dude, your boys need to breathe. Just wear loose underwear." (Stellar pearl of wisdom right there.)
• "It will happen. Just be patient." (Go fly a kite.)
• "Have you prayed about this? You should." (Only every hour of every day.)
• "Do a handstand after sex." (Again, vomit in my mouth)
• "You should think about adoption. Do you know how many people I know who have gotten pregnant after adoption!"
• "You guys are so young; you have time!"

"FUN" COMMENTS:

• "You should just take one of my kids. They drive me crazy!" 
• "My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant."
• "Are you two just career people? You don't want any kids?" 
• "It didn't happen for us on the first try. It took three months." (This is when I mentally poke their eyes out with the nearest writing utensil)
• "You've been married for five years? Geesh. You know, your eggs aren't getting any younger." (Thanks, Genius). 

I know you think we've made these up. I wish we had.